Alice in Murderland (2010)

Posted: March 28, 2011 in Movies

Mrs. Nutwork isn’t the raving fan I am of the horror genre, so I am forced to watch these gems at home – usually in the solitude of my bedroom. If I make it to the end of a movie without falling asleep or turning it off, it usually gets a spot on the Nutwork roster. The latest of these bedroom screenings is Alice in Murderland. I was pretty stoked to give this a viewing – the title seemed decent enough, and I was hoping for something along the lines of an old PC video game I played: American McGee’s Alice. Those hopes were completely crushed right after those two seconds when I pressed “play” on my remote.

The opening of the movie starts with some woman who reveals herself to be Alice’s mother looking into buying a house. The woman selling her the house looks, well, like Gina Gershon/biker chick hybrid. She doesn’t seem too friendly with her even though Alice’s mother has this wholesome joy to her as if she is always happy. Then the biker chick says, “Go down in the basement. There’s a surprise.” I was expecting to see a finished basement, but instead, it’s some killer in a cloak beating her with an ax – thus bringing us years later to see Alice.

We are first introduced to Alice being completely zoned out and babbling on how her mother was killed. Then we are greeted to some of the most banal dialogue like: ALICE: “I was just thinking about my mother. She died when she was 21 and I turn 21 this Saturday.” Then we are introduced to the characters in this movie, and – one by one – I realized there wasn’t an intersting one in the bunch. I was immediately hoping they would all die. There’s even a character inclusion of a gay teacher – who is one of the girl’s uncle – that’s only there to serve to make the audience question if he’s the killer or not; otherwise he’s just forgotten.

The whole plot point is that it’s Alice’s birthday and they all want to go to the Glass House (Looking Glass, get it?) to dress up as Alice in Wonderland characters. What’s the purpose of this? Not even the writers know as there is nothing but cat fighting, pointless dialogue, and getting high (and laughable banter, bad camera angles, cheap lighting, etc.). I can’t really fault them on the premise – back in college I went to a Star Trek theme party and it was awesome.

So basically it’s a slasher film as each of these untalented group of characters gets offed one by one. Now since we the audience has been spoiled by memorable deaths over the years in films like Saw and Friday the 13th, how did the deaths in this one stack up? Not one single memorable death. Sure, the killer would change it up from a knife to an ax every now and then, but they are mostly forgettable. I will say that they are pretty funny when it happens. After one swing, they turn into bloody messes. There’s even one scene where after one knife strike, the victim’s innards fall out. I half-expected the killer to use it as a grappling hook or a jumprope.

But hey, these aren’t the high-tech, super CGI movies that earn millions in box-office revenue. These are blatantly bad B-movies – and it’s the “bad” that actually make them good in a sense. I made it to the end. I survived (unlike almost everybody in this film.) I even enjoyed myself a bit. It’s not the best b-movie slasher we have given you on The Nutwork, but it’s not going to be the worst. You get what you pay for with these kinds of movies. My advice – lower your expectations, grab a bag of chips and a six-pack of your favorite beer and give this one a view. It’s bound to be better drunk…

IMDB: Here | Download (AVI): Here

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